Friday, August 11, 2006

Cookie crumble

Whassup with the "fortune cookie that doesn't really contain a fortune" phenomenon that has struck every Chinese food restaurant on the planet (and I eat a lot o' Chinese!) in the past few years?

Along with my very tasty, gloopy Egg Fu Young and spring roll, I always get a fortune cookie with a statement not a fortune in it. Now, I like to read a tiny piece of typed paper that says "you are a wonderful person and people worship you" as much as the next gal, but I don't consume the stale cookie for that reason. Hell, I could just ask my husband (who has by now learned the right answer to all my questions) and he'd give me the same response. Even adding the catchy tag "in bed" to the end of the "fortune" - which was so endlessly funny in high school ("you are a sweet, flexible bed." *snicker, snicker*!) - doesn't cut the hot mustard anymore.

I want real fortunes again, like "you will win cash at Bingo tomorrow night" or "you will almost be hit by a cross-town bus today at 5:15." The only thing that's come close were the fortunes my mom and I once got, apparently written by the Communist Party of China, that said things like, "Down with the capitalist pigs!"



At 7:05 PM, Blogger Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Yes!! I haven't gotten a real fortune in ages. I learned a cool superstition-y trick from my brother: you have to eat the cookie before you read the fortune, as a symbolic sort of acceptance/commitment to what it's going to tell you. But that only works if it actually tells you something...

At 12:02 AM, Blogger KLee said...

At least you're still getting cookies! The last few times we went for Chinese, there were no cookies! It was like telling you that there's be no tree at Christmas! I was seriously bummed.

At 11:00 PM, Blogger Bardiac said...

And you have to add "in bed" to whatever the message is!


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