Thursday, October 19, 2006

A Nightmare on Market Street

They've begun again. Like clockwork. The job market dreams.

Last night's inaugural dream was me at a job talk at Princeton (who is not hiring in my field at all and probably wouldn't look my way even if my hair was on fire). Nevertheless, there I was in Jersey in a room crowded with profs (from many different universities) and grad students, getting ready to give my talk. It was a slightly more painful version of the "going to school naked" dream except in this case I was fully clothed (actually, I looked great) but I seem to have forgotten to:

1) Make copies of my handout
2) Get my transparencies in order (I have no idea why I was using transparencies!)
3) Cut down a 45-page chapter into a kick-butt 20 minute talk
4) Get all the pages in order (the page numbers were all blurry in my dream! Foiled again!)

The time lagged on and on and I couldn't get my shit together - panic sets in as the dour faces in the audience look at me with increasing skepticism, boredom, and annoyance. Freddy Krueger wasn't there (that would have been more comfortingly surreal), but the sight of so many pissy famous medivalists was even worse...some of them were polishing there claws in the back row like a pack of rabid wolverines.

Finally I realize that I have one of three choices: A) I can just say "sorry, I'm not prepared" and walk away; B) I can muddle through and probably give some semblance of a horrible talk, but at least I'll have done it; or C) I can fake a seizure and hope someone pulls the fire alarm....

But then I was awaken by the Dutchman who was talking and laughing animatedly in his sleep. In Dutch. And then I heard raccoons outside knock over one of our garbage cans (fortunately the lid stayed on). So I couldn't finish the dream - I don't know how it ended! Drat!!!

Somehow I think I was leaning towards option C....



At 2:04 PM, Blogger Flavia said...

What an awful dream! Any one of those mishaps would be enough for a stressful anxiety dream but to have them all together--well, you've got my sympathies.

If it makes you feel any better, I've been having anxiety dreams all this past week, too, and I have no idea why (last night, it was that my car had disappeared, or been stolen, or something, and I had no way to get to campus). Let's call it sympathetic anxiety for all the rest of y'all.


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